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Writer's pictureDr. Ernesha Smith

Redefining Milestones and Being Your Own Muse

Updated: Sep 22

As I approach a milestone birthday, I find myself reflecting on what it means to age, especially in a world that constantly tells us who we should be at different stages of life. Society has a way of imposing expectations, what we should have accomplished by certain ages, how we should look, and even how we should feel. But here’s the truth: aging is personal, and no one else gets to define it for you.


There’s a narrative that suggests we should “have it all together” by a certain age or that we should “slow down” once we hit certain milestones. Maybe you’ve heard things like “You’re too old for that” or “At your age, you should be more settled.” These stereotypes can feel limiting, but they don’t have to dictate your path. The idea that we must follow a prescribed timeline is outdated.

Whether it’s society telling us we need to hit career goals by 30 or that we should look a certain way in our 40s or 50s, the truth is that aging is not a one-size-fits-all experience. You are allowed to grow, change, and evolve at your own pace.


Being My Own Muse

In a culture that often glorifies youth and external achievements, it’s easy to lose sight of the most important relationship we have: the one with ourselves. Being your own muse means drawing inspiration from who you are, your journey, your resilience, your dreams. It’s about seeing yourself as the center of your own story, not the supporting role.


As we age, we gain wisdom, depth, and understanding. These are the things that make us more beautiful, more interesting, and more powerful. You are allowed to be proud of where you’ve been, excited about where you’re going, and to stand confidently in the person you are becoming.


Life hands us experiences, some more difficult than others. We face mental health challenges, medical conditions, or unexpected life events. But these things are not our identity. They are part of our story, yes, but they do not define who we are at our core.


Aging gracefully doesn’t mean denying the challenges we’ve faced or the ways our bodies and minds change over time. It means acknowledging these experiences without letting them take the lead in our narrative. You are more than your anxiety, your diagnosis, your hardships. Your worth is not determined by what you’ve been through, but by how you continue to show up for yourself.


REMINDER Aging is a Privilege, Not a Limitation

In a world obsessed with youth, we sometimes forget that aging is a privilege. Each year, each birthday, is a testament to our survival, our growth, and our ability to adapt. The stories we carry, the lessons we’ve learned, and the people we’ve become are worth celebrating.


Aging isn’t about diminishing; it’s about expansion expanding our sense of self, our wisdom, our capacity for love and joy. It’s about understanding that we can rewrite our own scripts and reject the narratives that no longer serve us.


As I approach this milestone birthday, I’m choosing to embrace the journey rather than fight it. I’m rejecting the pressure to conform to societal standards of what I should be or do at this age. Instead, I’m focusing on being my own muse, finding beauty and strength in my journey, and refusing to let my experiences or health challenges define me.


Aging is a reflection of all the life you’ve lived, and it’s something to be embraced, not feared. So, here’s to growing older on our own terms. Let’s continue to evolve, to learn, and to live fully at any age.


If you find yourself at a crossroads in life, feeling the weight of societal expectations, remember that you have the power to redefine your own milestones. Aging is not a limit it’s a gateway to deeper self-understanding and growth. And that, in itself, is something worth celebrating.




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